It’s not very often that I get to go somewhere with one of my children, just the two of us. When you have five kids, inevitably they have some of the same friends, and get invited to the same birthday parties. Not today. Today, it was just my son and me. We went to the birthday party of a friend he knows from school. The boy is in another grade, and I didn’t know one single child there, other than the birthday boy. It was absolute chaos, the way a birthday party in summertime should be. The family rented a huge, inflatable water slide, which was set up right next to a trampoline. Nearby, faces were painted, balloons were twisted into animals, a clown entertained. A large tent housed a full luncheon buffet, complete with beer on tap. My son had a BALL, while other parents and children cast curious glances our direction. He screamed his way down the waterslide probably fifty times. He ate an entire plate of barbecue chicken. He bounced around the trampoline, squawking and chirping. He tenderly hugged his friend. He waited sooooo patiently in line for a balloon animal shaped like a dick and balls sword. And for three and a half hours, I watched him enjoy himself, all alone. And the entire time, I stood nearby, all alone.

I expect that my autistic son will have trouble fitting in with people he doesn’t know. But I’m not accustomed to feeling that way myself! I didn’t have any meaningful dialogue with ANYONE there, except the hostess. Everyone seemed to just … move away from us? Eventually, after making small talk with half a dozen other parents that didn’t go beyond saying hello, I figured I was just there to keep my son out of trouble. He had a wonderful time. He had cake. Then we left.

On the drive home, I started to think, perhaps it’s a blessing that we have such a large family. I’ve often wondered how different things would be for my son if he were an only child, and I had all the time in the world to devote to him and his needs. I’ve come to the conclusion that it would kind of suck, and we’d probably be terribly lonely. Thank goodness we have lots of other kiddos right here at home to play with every day!