But today is a new day. It’s Monday, and it’s back to work for the man and back to school for the oldest. The little ones are still home with me for a bit longer, but they’re obsessed with Nick Jr online lately, so I could probably paint the entire house without them noticing. I decided that today would be the day. So, armed with coffee and motivation, I started opening boxes. Out of the probably dozen or so boxes, I unpacked two. The rest, I labeled with sticky notes so my husband can see at a glance what’s inside – but I can summarize it for you in two words: HIS SHIT.

I’m stunned by how many boxes and boxes of MAGAZINES we moved. What is it with men and magazines? What is the purpose of keeping years and years worth of Popular Mechanics and Playboy? Will he ever look at them again? I can pretty much guarantee that the answer is NO. But they’ll be our legacy, mark my words. We may not have much to pass on to our children, but they’ll never want for mediocre porn or outdated tech articles. And if they get tired of reading old magazines, they can listen to an entire crate of mix tapes from the 80s! Maybe they’ll stumble upon some old relic computer from our generation and they can install tons of outdated software on it – I have an entire box of it, just waiting for them. And for some light reading, they can kick back with stacks of college textbooks.

Spring cleaning is here – and now that I’ve gotten the ball rolling, I’m certain that my husband will be ready to dive into this cache of crap, and do something with it all. I just know it! In the meantime, I need to figure out what to do with a king size memory foam mattress topper, now that we have a new bed that it won’t fit on. It’s rolled up and pushed in the corner of the room like a gigantic Chipotle burrito, but it’s really got to go!

Did you KNOW…your house will stay clean if you turn off your computer? Yeah. Crazy shit, I know. But hear me out. It turns out, if you spend just one hour a day cleaning, your house will sparkle and shine. Who knew? Now, I’m not talking about “picking up” or “straightening the front room” or anything like that. I’m talking about actual c-l-e-a-n-i-n-g.

I performed this little experiment this week. Every day, I picked something to focus on for a solid hour. One day, I did the kitchen – REALLY scrubbing the surfaces, shining the appliances, actually moving the table and chairs out of here to mop – all of it. Another day, I vacuumed every inch of carpet in the house, including the stairs, and using the crevice tool to get around everything. And on another day, I dusted everything. Cough. Choke. I didn’t realize what a pit this place was. But you should see my house! It’s soooo cleeeeean! (Underneath all the toy clutter.)

If you spend one uninterrupted hour every day with a sponge or a vacuum in your hand at all times, your house will shine. For reals.

Until your kids walk in the door from school, anyway.

Green Chile

• 1 lb. cheap boneless pork roast – buy it on sale and freeze it!
• 1 quart-size ziplock bag green chiles – roasted, peeled, seeded, and chopped
• Several jalapeño peppers, seeded and chopped – optional
• 1/2 to 1 c. flour, seasoned liberally with salt, pepper, cumin, chili powder, and garlic powder
• 2 quarts chicken stock

Cut pork roast into small pieces. Dredge in flour. Cook in a small amount oil until brown and crispy. Remove from pan; leave drippings. Add a little more oil to the pan and add the rest of the flour, and maybe even a little more.  Add chicken stock a little at a time, stirring constantly with medium-high heat. Add all other ingredients, including the browned pork. Simmer about 2-3 hours. If chili is too thin, thicken it up with a little flour or cornstarch.

This is one of those things you just learn how to make from experience – it’s kind of hard to write down all the ingredients and instructions and the quantities and techniques without losing a little something in the translation.  The most important thing to remember is to have fun with it, and don’t be afraid to improvise a little. I’ve used pork stew meat, pork tenderloin, pork chops, pork cube steak – whatever I have on hand or can find on sale. I’ve also made it with a big can of green chiles instead of fresh – still yummy.